It is over, my embryos did not split as they should there is no transfer. Time to cry and regroup and hold onto
Friends and family.
L.
Friday 27 July 2012
Tuesday 24 July 2012
time is now
Well, the word is in and retrieval day is tomorrow. I have 4-5 follies to transfer and we will be doing ICSI with all of them so I hope they are all healthy and fertilize...In my perfect world they would all be amazing quality, all would fertlize and we could transfer two and freeze the others...so fingers crossed.
I was feeling anxious, not about the procedure as I have been through it before and really don't remember it as I was so drugged up. But I was more worried about the finality of this cycle. We have said that this would be our last kick at the can in the world of fertility and all of a sudden it sunk in that if this doesn't work that's it, that is all she wrote. I expressed this to my acupuncturist and she reminded me that we are allowed to change our minds anytime we want, that just because we have said it does not mean we have to stand by it. We have a choice, I have a choice. Knowing this, being told this has made all the difference the fear is gone, I am going into this process happy and confident.
So tomorrow morning my lovely follies will be leaving my body and onto greener pastures only to return to nestle in to make a baby. :)
L.
I was feeling anxious, not about the procedure as I have been through it before and really don't remember it as I was so drugged up. But I was more worried about the finality of this cycle. We have said that this would be our last kick at the can in the world of fertility and all of a sudden it sunk in that if this doesn't work that's it, that is all she wrote. I expressed this to my acupuncturist and she reminded me that we are allowed to change our minds anytime we want, that just because we have said it does not mean we have to stand by it. We have a choice, I have a choice. Knowing this, being told this has made all the difference the fear is gone, I am going into this process happy and confident.
So tomorrow morning my lovely follies will be leaving my body and onto greener pastures only to return to nestle in to make a baby. :)
L.
Sunday 22 July 2012
plugging along
Still moving along through IVF 2.5, I am feeling much more like myself then I was a few days ago which is a good thing. I feel like I can continue to move through this process with my head up and with confidence.
As for the details of the cycle I am looking at 4-5 follies. I know for many people within the ivf world this is a small amount but for me, because I am a poor responder and I am still trying to get my thyroid levelled out I am pretty pleased with the results.Right now we are looking at about 2 more days of meds and ultrasounds then HCG then possible retrieval on Thursday. I am still waiting for the bomb to drop and someone to come and tell me this cycle is cancelled but I don't think that is going to happen, so I had better get my head in the game and start prepping myself for the upcoming process.
Quick questions for those who are in the IVF world....my cervix is crazy sore this cycle, like even when I am just sitting around...weird or what??
L.
As for the details of the cycle I am looking at 4-5 follies. I know for many people within the ivf world this is a small amount but for me, because I am a poor responder and I am still trying to get my thyroid levelled out I am pretty pleased with the results.Right now we are looking at about 2 more days of meds and ultrasounds then HCG then possible retrieval on Thursday. I am still waiting for the bomb to drop and someone to come and tell me this cycle is cancelled but I don't think that is going to happen, so I had better get my head in the game and start prepping myself for the upcoming process.
Quick questions for those who are in the IVF world....my cervix is crazy sore this cycle, like even when I am just sitting around...weird or what??
L.
Thursday 19 July 2012
not everyday
Update: IVF 2.5 moving forward on day six of my cycle, day four of my injections. Things are moving along well.
However...here is the thing, I can't be at my best everyday and today it hurts. Physically and emotionally it hurts.
The medication is starting to take a toll on me I am exhausted and bruised, I am finding it difficult to put on a happy face and am wanting to cocoon myself in bed. I am scared and frustrated that this is all a big charade where mother nature will say...sorry not for sure but good effort and hand me a participation ribbon. I don't want a fucking ribbon I want a family.
My stomach and heart hurts. Luckily dear ones I am an optimist and I know tomorrow will be better as for tonight I think I deserve a good cry and some sleep.
L.
However...here is the thing, I can't be at my best everyday and today it hurts. Physically and emotionally it hurts.
The medication is starting to take a toll on me I am exhausted and bruised, I am finding it difficult to put on a happy face and am wanting to cocoon myself in bed. I am scared and frustrated that this is all a big charade where mother nature will say...sorry not for sure but good effort and hand me a participation ribbon. I don't want a fucking ribbon I want a family.
My stomach and heart hurts. Luckily dear ones I am an optimist and I know tomorrow will be better as for tonight I think I deserve a good cry and some sleep.
L.
Wednesday 11 July 2012
not today
Well it is negative, not surprising...moving forward...IVF number 3!
lets hope I don't have to convert this time.
L.
lets hope I don't have to convert this time.
L.
Tuesday 10 July 2012
In a good place
Today I had a meeting with dr. E to discuss the ivf cycle that was converted to iui. Apparently my left ovary does not like to respond. This of course is not a good thing. He ordered the AMH test which is common for poor responders like myself.
Tomorrow is test day I am not expecting a positive result but am ever hopeful. If it is a negative result we will move forward with ivf with higher dosage of meds.
The thing is with all if this happening I am good, happy. I even am finding joy in other peoples miracles and pregnancies. Today when I was in the waiting room a woman beside me was handed an ultrasound picture, it was of twins, I felt such a huge amount of joy for her. To watch her face as she looked at her babies filled me up with happiness. I know the road she has traveled, I know this is her miracle and I am so happy for her.
I am now ready for mine.
L.
Tomorrow is test day I am not expecting a positive result but am ever hopeful. If it is a negative result we will move forward with ivf with higher dosage of meds.
The thing is with all if this happening I am good, happy. I even am finding joy in other peoples miracles and pregnancies. Today when I was in the waiting room a woman beside me was handed an ultrasound picture, it was of twins, I felt such a huge amount of joy for her. To watch her face as she looked at her babies filled me up with happiness. I know the road she has traveled, I know this is her miracle and I am so happy for her.
I am now ready for mine.
L.
Friday 29 June 2012
waiting game
Well I am in it now...the two week wait.
Both IUI's went very well, J.T had great sperm count on both days. To be an overachiever which I am we had sex the night of the second IUI and the day after...you never know ;)
So we wait, I am feeling pretty good getting some ovary cramps and not enjoying the progeterone suppositories (they go up the bum, yuck) But i am getting through.
Today was the last day of school so I now have the summer to look forward to. I plan for it to be a relaxing, productive and healthy summer. It will also be the summer I get pregnant.
L.
Both IUI's went very well, J.T had great sperm count on both days. To be an overachiever which I am we had sex the night of the second IUI and the day after...you never know ;)
So we wait, I am feeling pretty good getting some ovary cramps and not enjoying the progeterone suppositories (they go up the bum, yuck) But i am getting through.
Today was the last day of school so I now have the summer to look forward to. I plan for it to be a relaxing, productive and healthy summer. It will also be the summer I get pregnant.
L.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)